This is an april fools parody published on April 1, 2021. This predates any other proposal, and
is unrelated to Lecture Notes in Crappy Science. To eliminate confusion, this will redirect to the serious proposal
for a new journal.
New IACR Journals
As a result of an increased number of papers being written, the IACR has decided to create new journals to fulfill a need of authors to publish someplace. The new journals are described below, along with their mission statements.
Distractions in Cryptography
Some papers are worth reading, and some are not worth reading by the majority of researchers in the field. This journal is dedicated to the papers that need to be published to fulfill a checkbox, but really shouldn't be read by anyone. The submission requirements are:
- The paper should only be a distraction from the ordinary course of science. If a researcher doesn't read it, then no consequences should result from this oversight. The papers are only distractions.
- All papers should be submitted in final form, because the papers are not worthy of review and will only be refereed by a group of people who get together regularly to drink whiskey and tell each other crypto stories.
- Papers should be no longer than seven pages. That way in case anyone reads it, they won't have to waste much time.
Acta Rejectica
The purpose of this journal is to provide a publication venue of last resort. Submission requirements are:
- All papers should have been rejected at least three times from previous IACR venues (excluding RejectoCrypt).
- Authors should provide a statement asserting that they are too embarrassed to actually present their paper at RejectoCrypt.
- Authors should be willing to referee at least two papers prior to their paper being accepted.
